The Marian

26.6.09

Daddy

Here's a true story which should amuse.

I was round Jayne's house the other night; she'd just got in from food shopping and was unpacking the groceries. Simultaneously, her daughter, Megan, needed collecting from her gymnastics class at the school across the road. So, being the world's number 1 fuckin dad, I volunteered to go and pick her up and leave Jayne to stock the cupboards.

Arrived at the class and the instructor said, infront of EVERYONE (kids and parents);

"Are you Megan's dad?"

I was rather taken aback and said;

"Er...I'm here for Megan."

The instructor then called me over for 'a word'. At this point, I was expecting good news and was preparing myself to take the credit for raising a child brilliantly. What actually happened was, I got a bollocking because the little shit had told another girl in the class she was going to give her a black eye, and a bloody nose!

At this point, I thanked the lady for her feedback, and before leaving, reiterated the fact that Megan was in no way my own child, as I hadn't been too convincing upon my entrance to the class. Megan was stood next to me as I did this. Then, I took her own and 'dobbed her in' to her mum where she got a proper telling off!

Power.